"Reservations in India"

Manmohan Singh to Bush: We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush : Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh : 25 - OBC 25 - SC 20 - ST 5 - Handicapped 5 - Sports Persons 5 - Terrorist Affected 5 - Kashmiri Migrants 9 - Politicians / Freedom fighter / Govt. Emp. and if possible 1 – Astronnaut

"whoa!!"

The worst 2 yrs of my miserable life.

School memories ahhh!! ppl keep talking abt this when they leave school and join college.
most ppl consider the 11th and 12th to be the best in school,but it wasnt for me.My decision to leave Vidya mandir and join anna gem really cost me a lot.The main reason i joined anna gem was that my bro did his 11th and 12th over there and had a whale of a time. of course his Princi was one mr.loudraj who also happened to be my dad's maths teacher in school.When it was time for me to join the princi had changed and the school had changed from good to bad.I really had no clue abt this. My marks weren't great but they weren't bad or anything,it was nothing to talk abt thats it.

I got a seat when i went for the interview and decided to join the school.The school campus was great,a large ground a lot of freedom but the only minus point was that there was no canteen.but it dint matter much.
so school started sometime in june or july(not sure abt that)and i went to school,The guys seemed pretty normal but somehow i missed Vm a lot.I guess this caused a mental block in me cause i found some major faults with everyonee and decided to stay away from some of them,I found it really tough to make some good friends cause Most ppl had already formed a group and it was bad,Like this group of guys who called themselves "Dawooth" were supposed to be filled with rowdies,I really dint give a damn abt them so i just stayed away from them.

There was this small group of guys who had come from chettinad vidyashram,they had their own group but yet again i couldn't join it,rather i kept away from this group cause they would waste money and would act like they own the school and stuff like that.


For the first time ever i hated school,i dint want to go to school at all.It always used to be that i would go to school and be alone most of the time.Life really sucked at that time nothing was going rite,I wasn't studying properly,I failed in most of the test i wrote, i couldnt do anything properly.used to get blasted by most of the teachers,(i dont want to talk abt those things).

I NEVER went out with any of the groups,i found that ppl were crazy and insolent boors,they never cared abt others.I guess my present mind set has come due to this, i've stopped caring abt other ppl i dont give a damn as to wat happens to them and as bond says "live and let die".Let them rot in hell.

I always tried to keep in touch with the vm guys but found that most of them had already formed new groups and i couldnt fit into any of them.Tried to keep in touch by calling some of them but later realised that i was acting like a pest by calling and bugging them.The fact that almost all of them had enrolled for various tutions made sure that they dint have an iota of free time,On the other hand i never went for any tution and had lots of free time.It usually meant that i was at home doing nothing at all talking to absolutely no one.
just imagine 2 yrs of school and all u do is go to school be alone,fail in watever test u write,get caught for sleeping in class and other stuff like that.And the fact that i was supposed to be in "12th" was reason enough for my parents to shout at me whenever i sat on the comp or switched on the tv(i dint have cable at all) or went out for a movie.

The happiest day in my life was during the farewell day in school,while most ppl were sad and were on the verge of crying i was happy,happy for once in this fu**** up school.I never did go to the school ever again,just once after the exams to meet the teachers.No fond memories nothing,i dont give a damn abt that school anymore,why should i? after all it spoiled my life,2 yrs 2 whole yrs wasted because of this school.


sometimes i wonder if my life would have been diffrent i had continued in Vm.i wonder......

"Response to a matrimonial ad"

Hello mishter sandeep, I am jesht now wonly viewing, not even one nimit ago, youvar photu album pickchars. I am wanting to say that they are being soopar, mainly i am thinking the suit boot and tie wala. You are looking same like my sharukh in K3G on returning from the london somewhere in black helicophter and running to house. I am thinking you are being verre verre most handsomest gents, verre much in same to the type of gents my mother and father in kerela are looking for in yevariday manorama matrimonial column sectionwhile drinking the kapi. please to be making me also for consideration as my eyes are set on sharukh wala photu eef you are not intrested also worry not. friendhip is always there. all the besht. bincymol. COURTESY - KETAKI CADAMBI

"Titanic 2 sheesh!!!!"

i always wondered as to why ppl make sequels of certain movies.(why why why why why why??).the latest movie to join this bandwagon is "Titanic 2".i mean how the heck is it possible to make a sequel fo this movie???.will it be something like a ghost ship??Maybe its just another excuse for the director to make a sleazy movie.The story would probably go like this....
Its a clear day,The remains of the titanic has been brought to the surface.A rich man has started a $1billion project to reconstruct the ship,the preparation go on and the same ship has been constructed successfully.The man assures that this ship WILL NOT sink.The ppl(the fools that they are) buy tickets for the second greatest voyage.
The ship starts for its final destination on the way they realise something..

Capt:"shit the ship is leaking."
Rich Man:"how is that possible???"
capt:"Shit!!! we forgot to apply M-seal on those cracks"
Rm:"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"


All this while the hero and heroin have an passionate love story going on between them.suddenly they realise that the bed is getting quite wet.They realise wats happening and rush to the life boats.Great same mistake as last time,not enough boats.so most of them die and the hero and heroin sacrifice their life so that others may live.(wow!! how selfless).and so some escape and others die.

And the ppl wait till another rich man comes to start a similar project to make the damn ship again so that some useless director can make "Titanic 3".

The Movies!!!

Eveytime i watch a dumb movie i always wonder...."is it really worth spending so much money to make such dumb movies??".I mean every movie seems to have the same set of rules that they follow,I mean like come on,why cant they change the story for once???

This is how a movie usually goes on..

1.hero is from poor family.heroine is from rich family or vice versa.

2.The parents object to this relationship.

3.There is the bad guy who wants to marry the heroine and so he kidnaps her.

4.The hero as usual goes on a "one man" rescue mission.

5.He reaches the villan's "fortress" which is so secure that even the army cannot penetrate the outer defence perimeter.

6.BUT our hero finds the flaw in a couple of seconds and enters the fortress through a "secret entrance".

7.He manages to flaten the don's henchmen in a single punch(i mean come on,is it possible??)

8.And if too many henchmen come at one time the hero resorts to some fancy martial arts which enables him to defy the laws of gravity.(sorry newton,but they dont give a damn abt your rules:-(

9.The hero finishes them off in a couple of mins and goes to meet the don.

10.Oh yeah forgot the don is usually something like 60 yrs old.they have a small but powerful conversation and start fighting.

11.And what do we have here??,the 60 yrs old don really kicks the hero in the fight and also manages to put a few bullets into out hero(i mean this guy manages to kill the hefty henchmen in a single shot but cant manage a 60yr old man?/)

12.Of course our hero doen't die,the heroin manages to kiss our hero and he "magically " gains back his health( seriously i dont know why we need medicines when u can just kiss and cure diseases).

13.Hero proceeds to knock the f*** out of the villan and goes home with the heroine and blah blah blah blah... they live happily ever after.

This is usually the story for hindi and tamil movies...It doesn't mean that english movies are better its just that its more complicated( and stupid also).for eg these happen in all types of movies...

1.6 yr old kid manages to hack a 128bit encryption in 5 minutes flat to stop a bomb.

2.Heros manage to fight creatures ranging from aligators to the famous King kong.

3.They NEVER die because of a single bullet.(happens a lot in indian movies).

4.Our great captain Vijaykanth manages to give a shock to the shock machine and destroys it.(clip available on www.youtube.com)

5.Star wars will always be famous for introducing "the force" and indian movies will always be famous for using them stupidly...like this telgu actor manages to push a train back by just praying to god and pointing a finger at it(not the middle finger).

there are lots more like this... just cant remember now. so if u know something which i haven't mentioned over here please do so in the comment box.